A Cowardly ActWords by Charlie Ipcar © 1998
After a news story by Dave Barry
Maine Sunday Telegram, 2/22/98
Originally in Air Transport World, January 1998
Tune: adapted from traditional Irish The Son of a Gambolier
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Now you've heard of the Titanic, an iceberg her demise;
You've heard of Amelia Earhart, whose plane plunged from the skies;
But have you heard of the Kasii Maru, her fate true tragedy;
When she was sunk by a falling cow while trawling on the sea?
This cowardly act took place, 'tis said, in nineteen-ninety-seven,
That boat was stove in two, me lads, that boat was stove in two,
"How could a cow," you might well ask, "fall from the sky above?"
They have no wings to ride the winds, unlike the turtledove;
The truth would surely challenge the most bizarre criteria –
That cow'd been rustled by Russians from her pasture in Siberia.
Her pasture in Siberia, me lads, that her pasture in Siberia,
Those Russians loaded up that cow on a military jet,
At 30,000 feet, me lads, at 30,000 feet,
In panic they opened the cargo doors at 30,000 feet.
And so it was that cow dashed out into the skies so blue,