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Shafted in Shaftsburg

Lyrics by: Charlie Ipcar & Maxine Parshall © 1975

Set to a generic tune by: Maxine Parshall

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The header graphic is from JOINT ISSUE, Vol. 2, #10, 1971, p. 9, published in East Lansing, Michigan by an unknown artist.
The header graphic is from JOINT ISSUE, Vol. 2, #10, 1971, p. 9,
published in East Lansing, Michigan, by an unknown artist.

Now I've been shafted in Shaftsburg,
Been lynched in Lynchburg town;
I've been sharpened in Flint,
And Highland's got me down;
I'm all washed up in Bath,
Impaled in Lansing too;
Yes, I've been shafted in Shaftsburg,
Come on and get shafted too!
Yes, I've been shafted in Shaftsburg,
Come on and get shafted too!

I got fed up in Eaton Rapids,
In Custer I made my stand;
I got crocked in Potterville,
In Mason I was canned;
Reformed in Westphalia,
Benton Harbor straightened me out,
But the shafting I got in Shaftsburg
'Twas dreadful there can be no doubt!
The shafting I got in Shaftsburg
'Twas dreadful there can be no doubt!

I lost my bearings in Wheeler,
And Hamburg ground me down;
I was given the bird in Pigeon
And Fowlerville's a chickenshit town;
I got riled up in South Riley,
Ran amok in Menominee, (Menominee, Menominee),
But when you come to Shaftsburg,
You'll be shafted I guarantee!
When you come to Shaftsburg,
You'll be shafted I guarantee!

I got mixed up in Cement City,
Muskegon raised a stink;
You can't get high in Lowell,
Hart's got no soul I think;
I've been glum in Lum,
Taken for a ride in Cadillac;
But once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know you're never coming back!
Once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know you're never coming back!

Now I lost my head in Bad Ax,
And Hell, it wasn't so hot;
I got fucked over in Climax,
And Hillsdale left me flat;
I've been socked in Argyle,
Swamped in Grand Marais,
But when you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know you're gonna stay that way!
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know you're gonna stay that way!

I put up my dukes in Ellington,
Got locked in the Kalamazoo;
I got the trots in Flushing
And see-sawed at the Sault;
I got stoned in Petoskey,
Balmed in East Gilead;
But once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
Nothing else is quite as bad!
Once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
Nothing else is quite as bad!

I was polished off in Brighton,
In Lyons I lost my pride;
I was fleeced in Shepard,
In Frankenmuth I got fried;
I was blown away in Galesburg,
And Howeled all the way home;
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know it's time to roam!
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know it's time to roam!

I was cast out of Eden,
In Paradise I was lost;
I was damned in Holland,
In Thunder Bay, tempest tossed;
Tehquamenon was my downfall
But, Eureka, I saw the light;
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know it's time for flight!
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know it's time for flight!

I got plastered in Paris,
In Rosebush I got ripped;
I got tanked in Sherman,
In Beacon I was lit;
Fell off the wagon in Temperance,
In Brunswick I got stewed;
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
Nothing else is quite as crude!
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
Nothing else is quite as crude!

I drifted through Grand Rapids,
At Big Rock I was sunk;
Coldwater was a chilling experience,
Hemlock had a lot of punch;
Saginaw was a big letdown,
And Paw Paw's a fruity place,
But once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You've known real disgrace!
Once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You've known real disgrace!

(Repeat first verse)

 

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Notes:

"Shafted in Shaftsburg" was composed by Charlie Ipcar and Maxine Parshall, © 1975, after an inspiring road trip to the "thumb" of Michigan. It has been recorded by Michigan's Lady of the Lake and was rumored to have been the theme song of a 1980s road show with Kitty Donohoe who has also made a recording of it.

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