Original AP story | Justice en LieuWords by Charlie Ipcar © 1993Inspired by an Associated Press story – 9/9/93 Tune 19th Century Irish Music Hall: "I Wish They'd Do It Now"
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There are trials and tribulations as in life we make our way,
'Twas in the year of '93, September the eighth day,
When he tried to leave the bathroom, he found it was no go;
On the Courthouse bathroom door,
If he'd only brought some lawbooks, he might have shown more zeal,
On the Courthouse bathroom door,
So early the next morning, his staff was surprised to hear
Of-ten there's little justice, you can hear the people say;
Now comes the City of Machias, on Maine's rockbound shore,
Justice was all confounded at the Courthouse bathroom door.
Judge Marsano left his chambers, or so the papers say;
He entered his private bathroom, his duty to pursue,
How could he have imagined – fourteen hours en lieu?
The lock had jammed, his staff had left, no one could hear his woe;
So this Justice was confounded – his story will endure –
By the push-button locking system on the Courthouse bathroom door.
On the Courthouse bathroom door,
By the pushbutton locking system
On the Courthouse bathroom door.
First he tried to force the lock, but 'twas to no avail,
If he'd only had a bucket, he might have gotten out on bail;
Next he removed the hinge pins, but that door refused to budge,
There seemed to be no earthly way to win early release for the Judge.
He could have drafted a petition and gotten out on appeal;
But this Justice was confounded – his story will endure –
By the push-button locking system on the Courthouse bathroom door.
On the Courthouse bathroom door,
By the push-button locking system
On the Courthouse bathroom door.
Such unruly banging and shouting from the bathroom in the rear;
They smashed the lock to free the Judge, and one later did allow:
"It wasn't funny at the time, but it sure is funny now!"
MACHIAS – A judge who spent nearly 14 hours locked in a bathroom was freed Thursday when the Washington County Courthouse opened and a staff member heard a banging noise.
Justice Francis C. Marsano was preparing for the start of Superior Court when he left his chambers Wednesday to use a private bathroom.
Maintenance workers said Thursday that the push-button locking system on the restroom door apparently jammed after it was locked by the judge. Marsano tried to release the lock, but to no avail.
At some point during the evening, Marsano managed to remove the pins from the door's hinges, but the door still refused to budge.
The maintenance crew, which was summoned shortly after the courthouse opened at 8 a.m., was forced to destroy the lock to free the judge.
"It's funny now," said Norris Manchester, the maintenance supervisor. "But it wasn't funny at the time."